Thanksgiving 2013 - Blood, Sweat & Tears

Ok - so there was no blood, but the title was just too good to pass up! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Ours was filled with lots of emotions, that is for sure! And it wasn't even ALL the teenage girls' emotions - I will have to include myself in that emotional mix. It was wonderful to wake up when we wanted and have a whole day to hang out together. I am thankful for that. It was hot though. Sweaty hot in our house with the breeze as our only air conditioning. And there was no breeze this blessed Thanksgiving. It just doesn't seem right to be sweaty in November, but I was and I was grumpy about it. Then the girls started fighting. Now I know that they would fight with heat or snow, but I just wanted peace. And air conditioning. Is that too much to ask??

Once the food was ready, things started to look up. We had our neighbors from below come up because their mom/wife was on the mainland. It was nice. Great food. Great company. We cleaned up with no complaining and started getting the Christmas decorations out. We were watching "Elf" and I was laughing and enjoying myself. Then my sister called. I love my sister. I love my family. But one lesson I have learned about myself after living away from them all for 13 years, is that I don't do well when I call them or they call my on a holiday when they are all together and I am not there. I can talk to my parents after everyone is gone and be fine, but hearing them all together is too much for me. I see her name come up on my phone and I made the choice to answer. We had a great conversation. She was also a little sad because it was her daughter's first Thanksgiving away from home. Everyone got on the phone and wished me a Happy Thanksgiving. Then they told me what they were doing. Playing games, watching movies, napping. Pretty normal stuff. Things went downhill from there. I could picture it all and I wasn't there. The fact that I know we are not going for Christmas didn't help matters.

I hung up the phone and shed a few tears and then headed out to continue decorating the tree. Everyone wanted to help, but the ribbon wasn't going on right and I had to take it down three times. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I told my family I was too tired to decorate the tree, they should just do it themselves, and I went outside to sit in the dark and drink egg nog. (Yes, I am still on Weight Watchers, but Turkey Day is Weight Watchers free. Did you all not know that?) As much as I would have liked to be alone, my kids kept coming out trying to cheer me up. I retreated to my bedroom and just let the tears flow. I have become quite adept at crying silently. I didn't want to ruin their Thanksgiving. But they love tradition, like I do, and we decorate the tree together. They don't do it without me. Brian came in and let me vent, then he did the unthinkable - he invited the kids into my dark cave of sadness. I try to hide my sadness from everyone, but he told me that I wasn't fooling anyone, and the kids felt bad for me. They came in and I apologized for crying on Thanksgiving, but I just missed my family. They all told me how much they loved me and then they prayed for me. They said it was ok to be sad sometimes, but they weren't going to decorate the tree without me. I fell asleep feeling so thankful for my family. The ones under my roof. The ones that are with me on this crazy adventure. They are pretty awesome and they love me a lot. Happy or sad. Now if only I had cut myself with a knife, my title would have been perfect, but the sweat and tears were enough for me this year.

I weighed myself that morning instead of on Friday, because who in their right mind weighs themselves the day after Thanksgiving??? Not this girl! I was down .2. Not two pounds. Point two. But a loss is a loss!! This week was better. I was down 3lbs!! Three whole pounds. That makes 9 for those of you who are counting. I didn't exercise three times. It has been so busy. I didn't have the extended prayer times I have been hoping for either. I still need your prayers for that. Going into the next two weeks, I think I have one day off. The Christmas show is taking over and I need prayer to keep my attitude right. I would like to have Christmas be tear-free!! For my sake, and my family's. God says He doesn't give us more than we can handle, so I have to believe I am a lot stronger than I think I am. I am thankful for you all and your support! Here's to another great week!!

Week Three!!!

Aloha from Maui!! 

Doesn't that sound so exotic?? Like I am on a continual vacation?? I AM!! All I do is go to the beach and sip drinks with little umbrellas in them! I thought I would let you all see some pictures of our REAL life!

Here is our neighborhood. We can just swim on over to borrow a cup of sugar. It's so convenient!

Time for dinner! We are all about Ohana - which means family - so we invite people over every night for luau after luau. Let the kids spill! The tropical fish will get the crumbs!!

Oh, look! The girls are coming home from school! They have fully embraced the Hawaiian lifestyle and never want to go to the mainland or a real mall ever again!

Time for worship team practice!! I'm the one with the long brown hair. We hula to every song but that comes very naturally to me. I'm a dancer in my soul!

It's staff meeting time! We wear our native dress and greet each staff member that comes with a traditional ALOHA greeting! It helps with morale!

Here are Brian and I on our way to church. I still can't believe he has to wear a suit, but we try to enjoy our Hawaiian life anyway!

I almost forgot Jake!! He is loving the water! Can't keep him from the beach! Why play Minecraft when there is surfing to do!!!

It's only been three weeks since I've started Weight Watchers and I think I look pretty good! I feel great! Don't I look happy?? I know you will all want to move here and live our Hawaiian lifestyle! Who would blame you?? But I think it is sacrifice that very few are called to. You must be sure you are ready for non-stop relaxation!

I'm sure you may have guessed that the above stories are about as true as my love for cats, as displayed below.

The only true part is that it is week three!! I had a great week! I exercised three times! That is MIRACULOUS!!! I lost 2.2lbs and have had some great prayer times. It is that early morning prayer that is still the hardest for me. Especially when we have had such a busy week and I've been getting to sleep so late. But God will sustain me and give me strength if I spend time in His presence. Pray with me that I will continue to make that a priority. Love to you all!!

Week 2!

What a great week! Not Weight Watchers great. Or Exercise great. But it was Brian's birthday week!!

His cake looks like it is on fire! I guess technically it was since there were candles on it, but there weren't that many on there! I could only find so many in the junk drawer because I'm always super prepared! Oh, wait..... ;) Being only my second week on WW, I may or may not have tracked very carefully during what Jake has entitled, "STEAK WEEK." I was up .3lbs. Not too bad for this week! And I was inspired enough this morning to actually TAKE A WALK! When I got out of the car after dropping off the fam at school/work, it was kind of cloudy and breezy so my "IT'S TOO HOT" excuse was not going to fly. I ran inside and put on my tennis shoes and by the time I was back outside, it was sunny and hot. Whaaaaaat??? But I persevered! Of course, now it's cloudy and breezy again, but whatever.

I had some great prayer times this week and am feeling myself SLOWLY start to turn my frown upside down. God is so faithful to us, isn't He? This whole accountability thing may actually work. Go figure. When I remember that I will be checking in here every week, I make better choices. Well, most of the time. ;) Let's go week three!!!

Change is HARD!

Well, week one is done! WooHoo! I haven't completely changed my life yet - but I am moving in the right direction. I tracked on Weight Watchers all week. ALL WEEK, PEOPLE!! That hasn't happened in a while. That means I ate more salad this week than I probably have in the last few months combined! I forgot how much I love spinach salad. A few dried cranberries, a little bacon. YUM. So I lost 3lbs this week. It seems small, but I know I have to keep plugging along and all of those 3's and 2's and 1's will add up to a healthier me. I also am so thankful I can eat candy as long as I track it!!

My devotions went pretty well. Not perfect, but I have high expectations. Not that you should all think me a heathen who doesn't read the Word or pray. I just want a more serious prayer time. That is what I think has been missing. That refreshing that comes from spending time in His presence. I find it difficult at 5am, but the Lord has been waking me up at 4:45, so I am attempting to listen to Him instead of rolling over and going back to sleep. Easier said than done.

Ah, exercise. How I don't love you. I didn't exercise this week. I only accomplished 2 of my 3 prongs in my 3 pronged plan. That's only a 66% and you all know I am not a D student. But I gave myself a break this first week. And maybe the second week. We will see. I would love any input on what gets you all motivated to go exercise because the motivation has NOT hit me yet.

Anyhoo - here's to week two! Let's go!!!

I LOVE CHANGE!! Wait - no I don't.

I am an all-or-nothing kind of gal which tends to mean I like to start 20 things to improve myself all at once and then fizzle out in about a week. I need to lose weight and get in shape, so I will be exercising two hours a day six days a week and only eating chicken breast and water until I weigh the same as I did in High School. Doesn't that sound like a GREAT plan?? I need to buy all new work-out clothes because THEN I will work out everyday for two hours! (Brian won't be falling for that one again anytime soon!) I should do an indepth study of the whole Old Testament and maybe get ordained at the same time and get my Master's too!! You get the picture. I remember going to my friend, Marcy, once with probably 17 things I wanted to start because I was INSPIRED!! She wisely said, "Maybe you should just tackle one thing at a time." Whaaatttt??? Who does that???? Oh - people who actually change.

I really don't want to take that advise. I want to start everything now and with unrealistic expectations!! But I can hear a voice in my head saying, "How has that worked out for you in the past??" Shut-up smart voice in my head. I am laying out a plan for change. Small steps to get me where I feel God wants me to be. Nothing drastic. (where's the fun in that?) But with God's help, and yours, I will succeed!! I am going to document my journey for all of you to see even though that means revealing ugly truth that I would rather hide, but I LOVE CHANGE!! Wait - no I don't. But I need change, and God has spoken very clearly to me about what needs to change, so here we go.

1. I have to get up early and have a devotional time. This cannot be accomplished when I stay in my bed and it's dark. That is "praying" with parentheses. Not actual praying. Here are my excuses so you can feel free to help me counteract them.
     a. Lately, Jake falls asleep in our room and I don't want to wake him up with the light.
     b. It's really dark and I want to continue sleeping.
     c. I can do it later.
Wow - those are lame. Like Nike always says - JUST DO IT!

2. I need to go back on Weight Watchers. Here are my excuses.
     a. I can't eat anything I want, in any portion I want, at any time I want.
     b. It's not as easy as eating anything I want, in any portion I want, at any time I want.
     c. I have to buy more fruits and veggies and they are EXPENSIVE!
     d. I can't go to McDonald's and hang out with my nemesis, French Fries, as often.
     e. I don't have my friend, Tammy, to go to the meetings with me. :(
Well, only letter "c" is a valid excuse, and the money I save not going to McDonald's should make up for the difference!

3. I need to exercise. Get ready, because my excuses are plentiful for this one!
     a. I can't do it before work unless I get up at 4 something and that just ain't happening!
     b. It's so hot in the afternoon when I have time to do it.
     c. I get all sweaty and have to take a shower and do my hair again and it's HOT!
     d. I'm super out of shape and it will take forever to get back into shape.
     e. My ear buds hurt my ear when I listen to music. (I'm reaching now)
     f. I would rather sit on the couch in my small window of free time.
I just can't wait to hear what you all have to say about those excuses!

So there it is! My three pronged plan. How I will do it, I don't know yet. I think accountability is good and checking in here with all of you will help me. I thought of starting Weight Watchers today since it is the first of the month, but then Brian brought home bags of candy from the Halloween adventure at the church. Stupid Halloween. Who made up that holiday anyway??? I digress. Today I will have my devotional time since I don't have to work and I have time! Yay! One thing done! Tomorrow I will begin tracking! Yay! Exercise??? We will see. Baby steps, people - baby steps!!

Killing Giants

I like to read funny blogs like "Stuff Christians Like" and I like to read decorating blogs like "The Nester" but when they have serious posts, I usually just skim them if I read them at all, yet here I am about to write a serious post. I guess I've just felt a little more serious lately, like for the last 14 months to be exact.

A few months back we had a guest speaker at church who talked about killing the giants in our lives. He used examples like the giant of pornography, or the giant of unforgiveness. As I listened to the altar call to come and kill your giants, I asked the Lord what my giant was. I didn't really get a clear answer. That doesn't mean I don't have giants to kill, I just couldn't discern what the Lord wanted to speak to me in that moment. I left the service with the thought of dead giants swiftly leaving my brain. A few days later, I was on a walk when the word INDULGENCE popped into my head. Hmmmmm - strange, I thought. But the longer I walked, the more I felt impressed to stop and look up the word. It means: An inability to resist the gratification of whims and desires - foolish or senseless behavior - intemperance. It was that last word that got me - intemperance. Growing up in the 80's, I learned all my Bible verses for Missionettes from the King James Version and I recalled the Fruit of the Spirit verses ending with temperence. When I was 10 - I didn't know what that really meant, but I learned it so I could get more badges than my sister (but that's a whole different post). So if temperence was a Fruit of the Spirit, then IN-temperance probably wasn't. Then God wrote in the sky, "INDULGENCE IS YOUR GIANT!!!" Ok - He didn't really write it in the sky - but it felt that strong.

An inability to resist the gratification of whims and desires. Wow, where wasn't I being indulgent in my life? We tend to make out indulgence to be a good thing like, "You had a hard day - you deserve to indulge in a little chocolate, or some mindless TV!" I was able to justify all of my indulgences!! I just had to move away from all of my friends so I deserve to eat Cheetos whenever I want! I have to get up soooo early now that I deserve the extra sleep that is replacing my devotional time. My life is so busy that I deserve to lie on the couch and watch TV instead of exercising. My circumstances are difficult so I deserve to wallow in self pity any time the mood hits. But guess what - I don't deserve it!! That is living a life with no moderation and I am supposed to be a living example of the Fruit of the Spirit! Intemperance is the opposite of a Fruit of the Spirit.

I know that I need to make changes, but I don't want to! It's so much easier to INDULGE myself! I had convinced myself that after a year of living here, I would be in the groove - I would be happy and have things handled, but I keep feeling farther and farther away from that the longer I live here. It is in no small part because of the indulging of my flesh. How can I feel happy when I live in the mire of self pity?? How can I feel strong when I am treating my body worse than any time of my life so far?? But how am I supposed to change? Well, one thing I have learned in these 42 years of life is that I cannot do it alone and God doesn't want me to. It is indulging my pride to think I could do it by myself!

So I am asking God to renew my mind and give me HIS strength to kill the giant of indulgence. I am also asking you, my peeps to help me. To admit that I am not good at something is not really something that I love. Far from it. If I am not going to be good at something - I don't even want to try it! But it is not like my indulgence isn't being played out in my body for the world to see every day - so I will take off my rose colored glasses and admit that I have a problem with indulgence. I comfort myself with food and sleep and TV. I have a tendency to lean in to self pity instead of renewing my mind with God's Word. My next post will give a bit of an outline of what my plans are and how you can help, but for now, I'm asking that you pray with me for strength and if there is something that I can pray with you about, please let me know.

If you have read this far - WOW - I am impressed!! Thanks for listening! More to come.

Date Night

Lately, things have been a bit crazy. Ok - maybe it always seems crazy and it has just been crazier, but Jake and I found ourselves together last night while the girls and Brian were at the youth production called "Hotter than Hell". I told him we could do whatever he wanted and crossed my fingers that it would not mean me watching Youtube videos about Minecraft. He wanted to go to the grocery store and pick out his dinner and then watch a movie. Dinner and a movie! It's date night! He may not be my favorite date partner, but I will take what I can get.

We headed to out new and exciting Safeway and a miracle occurred! I did not have make up on, being as it was my day off, and I DID NOT SEE SOMEONE I KNEW!!! I seem to always see someone I know when I am going au naturale. This was shaping up to be a great night! We shopped around, had to pass on the $8.29 gallon of chocolate milk, and ended up with fish sticks. Now that's good eatin'! We were looking at all the boxes and he said, "Mom, I have to have the one with the picture of the fisherman on it!" He has a very discerning palate. We also got some microwave popcorn, because what goes better with fish sticks than popcorn??? As we drove back to the house, he filled me in on deadly insects. This is one interesting date! We went gourmet and cooked Jake's fish sticks in the toaster oven instead of the microwave and he tasted them and said what every chef wants to hear, "They taste like we cooked them, you know?" Wow, thanks!

Our movie choice for the night was a definite crowd pleaser, "The Croods". A heartwarming story about caveman. It was actually pretty cute and I laughed out loud quite a few times. With dinner and a movie over, I didn't know quite where this date would go, but I should have know it would head in the direction of "Deadly Encounters"! Jake loves shows on the discovery channel and with Netflix, his choice is endless! The "Deadly Encounters" we watched - and I say "we" loosely since I was reading a book on my phone - was about stupid men who look for giant deadly snakes so they can measure them. That sounds like a dream job! I wasn't paying much attention until the stupid man, slogging through bat fecal matter and gagging at all the deadly ammonia from the bad urine, got bitten by one of the snakes in the lower buttock region. Seriously - who thinks that is a cool job??? And to make it worse, he was a two hour hike away from his truck and then a couple hours away from a medical clinic. After he was healed up - SIX WEEKS LATER - he went back in to measure more snakes.

The moral of the story is that boys are weird, whether fish stick loving 10 year olds, or stupid snake measuring 30 year olds. Yet, we can't really have date night without them! I'm just happy my little date still likes to hang out with his mom!

My "Thrilling" Life

A couple weeks ago,  Katelyn was a zombie in the Maui County Fair Parade. I watched her go by from our fried ice cream booth and I seriously got a tear in my eye. She was having so much fun doing something she would not have had the opportunity to do had we not made this crazy, adventurous move. There are times I miss my old life, but then I see Kate doing the "Thriller" dance, or I catch Jake lifting his hands in worship, and I begin to think maybe the old life wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

Sometimes I think we look back with rose colored glasses when our current circumstances aren't going as planned. I know I sure do! But what is God trying to teach us right now? I can say with my mouth that all of my sacrifices are worth it for my family to be growing closer to God, but when I'm complaining in my head the whole time, am I nullifying my words? I AM glad they are drawing closer to God and I have had to make sacrifices (see my first post) ;) but am I learning what I need to learn in these hard circumstances to make the sacrifice worth it? The other night I couldn't sleep and I was going over, in my head, my well documented list of sacrifices, when I heard that still small voice whisper, "Obedience is better than sacrifice."Am I doing what God asks me to do each day, or are my sacrifices in vain? This crazy adventure isn't just for my family - it is for me too. I often say to Brian, "I think God got confused when he had me marry such an adventurous person!' But God is not surprised at my being literally stuck on an island, and He has great plans for me and great plans for you - whoever you are! He promises that!

So today, I will choose to put aside my desire to have free time - while shopping at Target - and buying milk for under $2 - and be thankful in all circumstances so my words will match my heart.

A Day in the Life

5:19 - Wakey - Wakey! It's so dark at 5am but at least I get to look at pretty fall leaves on my phone! I miss fall leaves. 

5:32 - There are two little black dots below my light fixture. They are flying bugs and they invade my bathroom every morning. This is just two. I kill between ten and twenty every morning. It's super awesome.

6:04 - I come into my kitchen to find branches on my counter. Guess what they are..................................................................................................................................................

PLUMERIA!! My sweet husband got them to plant on my deck. :) Can't wait to smell the flowers!

6:05 - Yes, it has come to this. I am a coffee drinker. I held out for 41 years, but this 5am wake up call has made coffee essential in my life. I should have taken a picture of the amount of cream I have to add to make it taste good! It's not a small amount. ;)

6:25 - Sunrise. The view here is amazing. I never get tired of it.

6:33 - This little girl lies outside my bathroom door while I get ready. She's guarding me from whiney teenagers. Sometimes it works. Most times not. They still find me.

7:00 - Time for breakfast! I get to go in a half hour later on Thursdays so I have time to sit and enjoy. Madison was eating with me but she wouldn't let me take her picture!! She just got up and all -  but still. She said, "You can write about me but don't take any pictures." Well, that's just a challenge for me! I will get a picture at some point!

7:48 - Our daily trek to King's Cathedral for school and work.

7:57 - My office in the finance department. The last place my brother would have thought I would end up when he was helping me with my math homework in High School!

8:07 - Paying the bills for all the extensions from Alaska to Arkansas.

8:30 - Prayer time with all the office ladies. Every morning we pray together. These women are a blessing to me!! The one on the left is my partner in crime in the finance office. Her name is Shayvon and she's amazing. So thankful for her!

10:06 - Thursdays I get to work in the music department for a few hours but when I showed up, my boss wasn't there yet!! I think he's going to have to take me to lunch now! When his mom was visiting we painted his office. We went with gray because what else really goes with purple carpet?? Looks like I have some cleaning to do today!

11:48 - He did take me to lunch! And at one of our favorite spots - Cafe O'Lei. It has a beautiful view of the West Maui Hills which is where we live. Another perk is the fact that the lunch special is cheaper than a McDonalds meal and it comes with a nice salad! My mom would appreciate that!

2:17 - Driving home from work and school. :)

2:38 - Spelling words on the deck with this handsome, freshly showered boy. He informed me during our study time that he now has armpit hair and he would like to use deodorant. Can you spell
 S - T - O - P - G - R - O - W - I - N - G - U - P!!!!!

3:06 - Next is spelling with this ray of sunshine who also doesn't want her picture taken! She's covered in a blanket because it's fall here and it's freezing. Like 82 degrees. Brrrrrrrrrr.

3:32 - Time for some reading and maybe napping if the mood hits.

5:15 - Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup. It's what's for dinner.

5:52 - Listening to this cool new album and car dancing to embarrass my kids on the way to worship team practice.

6:12 - Ladies of worship. We have so much fun in rehearsal!

8:22 - Had to stop at the store for party food for school tomorrow.

9:41 - A little TV with the hubs before bed.

10:00 - Turning off the lights - I wish everyone could see the beautiful city lights in person!

 

10:06 - This girl is going to bed! Gotta get ready for a new adventure tomorrow!

Occupado!

Today I went into the bathroom stall at work and found a VERY large cockroach standing in front of the toilet. I said, "I'm sorry! I didn't know this stall was occupied!" and I went into another stall.

The End.

Hair Today - Orange Tomorrow

I'm not typically an adventurous person, yet when it comes to my hair, I have no problem jumping in to something new and crazy. This was all well and good when I had a professional at the helm, but since I have been on my Hawaiian adventure, I can no longer afford the luxury of getting my hair cut and colored at a salon. This has led to a few misadventures of late. This week alone my hair has been three colors. It started out with grown out - unnaturally blonde colored - highlights. Since they were grown out, you could not only see my roots, but my my new and exciting gray hairs. Growing old is awesome! 

This was the unnatural blonde highlights at least a month ago, so image bad roots! And my awesome shirt is another post altogether!

Anyway - I needed to cover my highlights so I chose a light brown. Seemed harmless. While the color was on my hair, I was wandering in the kitchen and Brian says to me, "Are you trying to dye your hair red?" I said NOOO!!! and ran in the bathroom only to see my light brown was looking ORANGE! I rinsed and blew it dry and looked in the mirror and just laughed. Not my junior high laugh that comes out when I'm nervous, but a maniacal kind of "How is this my life now?" sort or laugh. So I thought to myself, it is fall, though it doesn't really feel like it on Maui, so I'm just getting into the swing of things! Pumpkin spice latte colored hair! 

This doesn't even do justice to how truly orange it really was!

This lasted three days and I just couldn't handle it. I couldn't wear pink! Perish the thought! So I have moved on to medium brown. It's dark, but not orange. 

Waiting for the magic brown dye!

I'm so happy it's not orange anymore!

Madison loves it - says it makes my eyes pop, but Jakey says, "Why didn't you just keep your hair like it was??" How do you explain to a ten year old boy that grown out highlights and gray hair doesn't feel very beautiful? If only I could view myself through his eyes!